|Anonymous said: I have serious confidence issues around men. I don't know why, but whenever I interact with men I get really quiet, nervous and, idk, more submissive I guess (doesn't even have to be in a romantic situation). And I hate it - that's not how I am or how I want to be. I don't like being out of control and when I am I feel uncomfortable. Around men, I feel like I lack control and power. I know it's bs, but I feel like I was raised to be like this and I'm having trouble conquering it. Any advice?|
Honestly? Practice makes perfect. Try to insert yourself into more conversations with men, and attempt to be true to yourself. I have the opposite reaction when I have interactions with men - I become louder, more brazen, more outspoken, and abrasive. I don’t like who I am with strange men, because it’s not an accurate representation of my typically more thoughtful self.
|Anonymous said: Hi, I love your blog btw. I've seen you briefly talk about eating disorders, I currently suffer from anorexia and it's really difficult to feel "normal" especially in social situations. I was wondering if you battle eating disorders ? And how do you cope? I'm sorry if this might be an uncomfortable topic as it was hard for me to even ask this question.|
[TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION OF EATING DISORDERS]
I am diagnosed with EDNOS and Body Dysmorphic Disorder, so I’ve been there. I’m currently dealing with relapses of really destructive behaviors (abusing laxatives, intense restricting of intake, purging, overexercising, etc.) while trying to regain control over my weight, but attempting to do it in a healthy way.
The best way to cope is to seek professional help. I had been struggling with relapses that got really serious, and I realized that I needed to go back to therapy. It had been over a year since my beloved therapist died very suddenly, and I just got back into it with a new therapist in the last month or so.
This is an uncomfortable topic because eating disorders are uncomfortable. You must have a relationship with food to survive, and it’s very difficult when our brains turn against that need. You’re always welcome to reach out to me if you need someone to listen, but I’m not a professional.
|Anonymous said: My bff's boyfriend of 3 years just broke up with her and she's devastated. How can I help her through this?|
Be there to listen, and be sure to let her know she’s not alone. It’s hard when you’re not ready for your relationship to end, but it’s better that both people in a relationship are honest with each other about their needs - even if the need is to end the relationship.
Six simple rituals:
1. Drink a glass of water when you wake up. Your body loses water while you sleep, so you’re naturally dehydrated in the morning. A glass of water when you wake helps start your day fresh.
2. Define your top 3. Every morning ask yourself, “What are the top three most important tasks that I will complete today?” Prioritizes your day accordingly and don’t sleep until the Top 3 are complete.
3. The 50/10 Rule. Solo-task and do more faster by working in 50/10 increments. Use a timer to work for 50 minutes on only one important task with 10 minute breaks in between. Spend your 10 minutes getting away from your desk, going outside, calling friends, meditating, or grabbing a glass of water.
4. Move and sweat daily. Regular movement keeps us healthy and alert. It boosts energy and mood, and relieves stress.
5. Express gratitude. Gratitude fosters happiness. Each morning, think of at least five things you’re thankful for. In times of stress, pause and reflect on these things.
6. Reflect daily. Bring closure to your day through 10 minutes of reflection. Asks yourself, “What went well?” and “What needs improvement?”